By Mark Gilkes
Fear and Loafing in Lyme Regis. Pt. II
Sunday 22nd September 2002 at Lyme Regis Crazy Golf
Weather: Sunny Laws of the game:
- Ball to be first played from tee mat
- We don’t need to concern ourselves with the other laws…
Reigning champion Mark Gilkes was defeated* by one shot by Mike Fox
* Law one states: Ball to be first played from the tee mat
Mark Gilkes congratulated the new champion with an effusive and generous speech delivered in the highly original style of a mumbling through gritted teeth.
James Tait ate a pint of prawns, all of whom seemed to look with a special pink vindictiveness at the still-sulking Gilkes.
Sunday 22nd September 2002 at Uplyme Cricket Club
|Innings of Uplyme & Lyme Regis CC|
|Blackmore||ct||J Monahan M Fox||3|
|Daniel||ct||M Fox A Wood||59|
|M Batey||bwd||J Fox||9|
|Robertson||did not bat|
|Finnigan||did not bat|
|Total for 7||207|
|Innings of Salmagundi Gardeners CC|
|P Sessions||bwd||S Batey||28|
|M Fox||run out (expertly by Jim Monahan) as a result of consistently failing to play the ball from the tee mat||33|
|J Fox||bwd||M Batey||1|
|J Monahan||not out (expertly – as in the case of the confident leave that saw the ball hit his stumps but fail to dislodge the bails)||25|
|D Hargreaves||run out (without facing, giving him no opportunity to disprove yesterday’s scorebook assessment of his batting prowess)||0|
|Total for 8||130|
|T Finnigan 6 1 8 2|
|Blackmo… Oh, who cares…|
Innings of Salmagundi in the game of pathetic attempts to be interesting enough to get written up in the report
Jim Monahan having secured 13 players the night before, managed to have 3.2 overs bowled before somebody noticed we only had 10 13
Mike Fox took two stunning catches to show how it is done while the rest of the team vied to show best how it isn’t 2
Rosy Saunders allegedly, as Uplyme & Lyme Cricket Club smashed their way to victory, and Salmagundi fielders searched in vain for the ball in the ditch on one side and the stream on the other, made a clever attempt to secure victory for our side by renaming the game Riverball 100
aka enormous fun
The persons portrayed in this report are factual and bear no relation to anybody living or dead who can play cricket.
No animals were injured in the Salmagundi batting, nor energy expended in the fielding.
Based on a true weekend.