Jesus College 20 July

By Michael Fox

I’m sure Brian Granville never had this problem but your correspondent diligently saved his nearly completed report but then incompetently misfiled it. For some reason, entirely unconnected to performance a certain slow bowler, speciality leg side full tosses has become anxious about about its non arrival another, presumably on commission because it coudn’t be performance, is also sending reminders-a dangerous course of action as last weeks scribe is about to find out.

It was another glorious day at Jesus College; this time the opposition was the High Table with Malcolm b organising himself a transfer to the Fellows, me thinks he has academic aspirations. Having experienced the delights of batting second into the sun skipper Woods cannily put us in. James t restored as opening bat with Chris p [whose report last week alluded to your reporter’s running skills] came and went so quickly that running was not required.[2]

In came Mark g who reckons that by not scoring he will continue to bat at the top of the order bye – bye [0[-but is the premise a sound one. In came Will t who stayed longer than last week…….just[5

Phil s joined James t for the inning’s most productive partnership before departing for a well earned 31. Enter Jim m, the partnership flourished before Jim played a defensive push and set off at breakneck speed-metaphorically-for a non existent single. Result-departure of James[32].His equanimity in the face of extreme provocation is an example to us all, some, Lyme Regis 2002 do not have such forbearance. Mike s came..and departed[0]

Enter Fox senior-demoted in time honoured tradition for scoring too many runs the previous week [Mark g please note] to join? Battle ? partner? Jim m. Who would run out who? But before the specialist tip and not call cricketers could engage Jim m attempting a hook off his nose-departed hurt, blood streaming, specs broken, doctor in attendance.

In came Fox junior, a textbook onside slash then Lbw[5] Out came Adam w who stayed a while [5] followed by Monahan junior who departed caught and bowled [0]

Realising that his team needed him,bloodied,handkerchief in one hand, specs repaired, out staggered Jim m to join Mike f. The calling got worse-according to Jim he was concussed your correspondent was playing his normal game. Eventually Jim m holed out for a well deserved, nay heroic 23. Mike f had another not out [13]-did some one say averages

The final score of 148 looked 30/40 runs short.

The Fellows opened confidently but quickly Chris P struck [but more about him later] followed by a text book run out by Joe f.

Skipper woods who hadn’t quite realised that declaration cricket didn’t mean that you couldn’t change bowlers persevered with Mike f and Chris p who struck again-wait for it. Then a change,skippper Woods figuring that a bang on the nose would do wonders for line and length brought Jim m on in place, of a reluctant Fox. But at the other end Chris p continued, was this an error the Jesus number 6 didn’t think so biff[6]biff[6]biff[6][4 could have been a 6.]dot ball then-I make that 23 Chris and the Australian retired-it was ever thus-with the game in the bag.

But Jim m-he who waits for this report-had other ideas with broken glasses perched precariously on nose he twirled in, wicket,wicket,dot ball,wicket.In came Malcolm b to stop the rot but lured forward he was snaffled behind by Phil s.Two wickets to go.Back came Mike f to tie up one end whilst the Maestro still concussed[ the only explanation ]got another wicket.

With the scores equal and one wicket required Peter s and Mike f faced each other again-in the previous game Peter s had bowled Mike f off his foot to give the graduates a win by 4 runs with 2 balls left .Mike f tried th same tactics but alas with the wrong result a leg bye gave victory to Jesus by one wicket

A hugely enjoyable day-but how to do justice to the cream tea and not bat second into the sun!

NB apologies to all those I haven’t managed to offend

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