Nomadic Norsemen 26 Sept

Report by Nick ‘Rhythm & Blues’ Duckett

Moles In Gardeners Net Practising Team Combine In Devastating Manner To Prevent Last Day Victory Celebrations

Gardeners vs Norsemen Sun 26/9           lost by   27 runs

The two operatives previously known as Keld and Bruno but whose identities can now be revealed as Van Schreven and Brewin managed to access the highest policy-making circles in the Gardeners set-up to collect vital information before the season even began.

The Gardeners (inevitably) lost the toss and took the field. If Nimish was bowling tidily from one end, Dave Stead was blistering at the other, taking the first three wickets clean bowled including that of agent Brewin. A change of bowling saw Stewart take his first wicket for the Gardeners this season in a beautiful spell and at 66 for 4, the Norsemen were well and truly tied down at the halfway mark in the thirty over contest.

Another 24 runs were added and when opening bat Ollie was bowled by Stewart, the Norsemen unveiled their number 7 batsman to be none other than (Keld) Van Schreven, who strolled out to the crease after secreting himself somewhere in the bushes during the pre-match negotiations. Another 64 runs were added while the former South African was at the crease leaving the Gardeners to chase 154 at around 5 an over.  Brasted kept wicket very efficiently letting through just three byes, sparing us the opportunity of enjoying his mercurial bowling skills. Last week when the incoming batsman enquired of his bowling action, Paul’s response was ‘Left arm over 12 to come.’

Captain Steadley and Stewart opened the innings in reply, taking the score on to 19 before Stewart and then Jim Monahan were bowled by opening bowler Ant. After twelve overs, the Norse finally brought on the two insiders Brewin and Van Schreven who between them took five quick wickets – all five winter netters, Stead, Hollingsworth, Duckett, Brasted and Gostick.

There was a bit of brief resistance. Nimish always bats as if he has an important meeting to get off to and hit 13 runs in 6 or 7 balls. Lord Fakenham was back with us again after sending along his twin brother to the Lyme game, although there were suspicions that the Gaylord had sneaked on to the field during the Norsemens innings in order to generously aid a couple of shots over the boundary rope.  He belted out 41 runs until the match was brought to a conclusion with a suspicious looking runout. Jim Monahan the Second stranded himself halfway down the wicket as the ball was taken cleanly by the wicket keeper. The only problem for the Norsemen was which end to break the stumps. Jim is reported to have said ‘I’m sorry, Fakenham, I thought I was somewhere else.’ On his Blackberry to a South Asian bookmaker perhaps?

Ollie                                        b Coughlin               32
Bruno                                      b Stead                    10
Derek                                      b stead                     12
Arthur                                     b stead                     0
Sid                                           b Caughlin               16
Sven                                        b monahan             35
Keld                                        not out                    15
James                                      ct Duckett               b Gostick                  19
Ant                                          not out                    6
Extras                                                                      9
Total                                                                       154         

Nimish Shah                    6              0              36            0
Lord Fakenham               5              0              26            1
David Stead                       6              1              17            3
Stewart Caughlin                  6              1              26            2
Jeremy Gostick                   3              0              20            1
Jim Monahan               4              0              27            1               

David Stead                       lbw          Keld        29
Stuart Caughlin                  b Ant                       8
Jim Monahan               b Ant                       0
David Hollingsworth         b Keld                     6
Nick Duckett                   b Bruno                   0
Lord Fakenham               not out                    41
Paul Brasted                    b Bruno                   3
Nimish Shah                    b Arthur                  13
Jeremy Gostick                   ct Keld    b Bruno   7
Jim Monahan               run out                    1
Extras                                      19
Total                                       127

Ant          6              0              13            2
Jason       6              0              27            0
Keld        4              0              15            2
Bruno      5              0              23            3
Arthur     3              0              23            1
Sven        4              0              18            0
JP            1              0              3              0

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