Bendev 10 July

By Chris Packham

With Richard away at a retreat to get over Ardington’s Nina – take two Sherpa’s and a theodolite, she’s a big girl – who would be the team daddy? This week there was no need for dad’s taxi, or to tuck us up and read a bedtime story, or worry about Murray (Wild, wild horses wouldn’t drag me to play, man), or organise grub as we were playing the splendid Bendev mob who’s teas are legendary. And with an army of hacks (hackers?) put out to grass (hopefully on that charming bunch called Murdoch) no need to write the report either. Not that I’m with the News of the Screws you understand, but, as evidenced here, when it comes to writing fabricated nonsense, I’m your by-line. So, just the winning of a cricket match for the captain to worry about this week then, a piece of cake in comparison to last weekend – except for the winning of a cricket match bit. With the globe thoroughly trotted, Dave Stead was back and able to lead the troops, who included last week’s batting maestros, Toby Frow (88 – French House) and Dave Hollingsworth (62 – Ardington), so things were looking promising; as long as the pugnacious, battle scared Duckett didn’t continue in last weekend mode and decide to sort out us soft southerners before the match began. I felt the need to point out to our Nick that Mick Campbell, being from Tasmania, was about as southern as you can get; this placated/confused/scared the xxxx out of the chippy Mancunian. In the interest of fair reporting it should be pointed out that Nick vehemently denies being a chav’s delight and was merely indulging in a little light-hearted banter with total strangers in an unknown pub at midnight on a Saturday evening …as you do.

On a fine Sunday, Bendev won the toss and elected to bat. Mick Campbell opened the bowling with me at the other end. Two fours in the first over, one in the second, these boys weren’t interested in quick singles, just punishing the bad balls; and if you dropped it a bit short on this pitch that’s what it became. The boundaries only policy continued until the sixth over. Mick got the breakthrough in the ninth with an lbw appeal against Kirai (14) that proved unnecessary as the ball went on to hit the stumps, 1-40. Dave took over from me and Toby from Mick. Toby’s extra pace proved decisive, taking opener Jayesh for 24 in his first over and Jerry for 1 in his second. Dave bowled Dipesit for 0 in his fourth and Gops went for lbw (24) in his fifth, the umpire finally giving in after a number of appeals were turned down. So 5 for 82 after 17 overs, this looked promising. Jim Monahan came on to wield his magic arm, but the magician’s wand was out of sorts today and the first ball was a full toss dispatched to the boundary by the dangerous Kisher. After retrieving the ball, son Henry suggested he should stay at deep backward square to take the catch if that was where Jim was going to bowl. “Get back to where I put you” said father Monahan, who then bowled another full toss which was lofted down to where Henry had suggested he field. This prompted Jim to change his mind and a wretched fielder to jibe “Come on Jim, you’re not too posh to pitch”. Some people have no respect for their elders. Despite taking four wickets against the French House last week, Adam Wood failed to catch the captain’s eye, so, when a miss-hit lofted drive skied it’s way to him at mid-off he made his presence known by loudly proclaiming “Adam’s ball”, unfortunately the ball failed to recognise this ownership claim and skipped away out of the Wood mitts.  Jim did finally take Kisher’s wicket, caught behind by the excellent Jeff Round who finished with 0 byes against his name, but by then he’d scored 58 in a partnership of 73 with the left handed Moley, 49 not out. Not being able to break this partnership until now rather took the wind out of our sails. So despite some quality fielding from Henry, chasing down and sliding in to stop a boundary, and some brave stops from Dave H and Jeremy Gostick, Bendev finished on 201 for 7 off 35 overs.

Campbell    7  0 46 1
Packham                   7 0 28 1
Stead  7 0 40 2
Frow  7 1 38 2
J. Monahan 7 0 51 1

The tea was to the usual excellent standard, with a seemingly bottomless ice-bucket of bottled beer. Was this a cunning plan by Kenny to upset our batting? Was it really necessary?

After his exertions behind the stumps, Jeff said he wouldn’t mind batting down the order, but this act of largesse turned into a two pipe strop when he discovered he’d been put in at eleven. “I’m not going to keep wicket if I have to bat at eleven” puffed disgusted from Montreal. ”You’ll get a bat”, I coughed, and for once I was right.
Adam and Toby opened the batting. Things started going downhill in the second over when Toby hit a ball into the covers straight to a fielder but still called for a run. Adam’s only chance of surviving was to send him back, but he took the bullet himself, 1-5. Henry was in next and we all expected some fireworks after his display against the Sunday Times, but we were really expecting too much as he hadn’t batted for five years prior to that match and the bowling here was of a different order. Toby was the next to fall, 2-43, bringing Dave H to the crease. Now Dave has top-scored in a number of matches this season, and today was no exception. After facing 51 balls, Henry was caught trying to push on and we were now 3-71 off 18 overs. Still, with Dave S in next we weren’t too worried, then Dave was out first ball caught behind to Jayesh, 4-71, then Mick was out second ball to Jayesh while I was putting on my pads, 5-71. I faced the last ball of the over from him which cut away sharply but didn’t find an edge. I then backed-up too far as Dave hit a straight drive to a fielder who threw down the stumps before I could get back, 6-76. The middle order collapse was completed when Jim was out fourth ball to the deadly Jayesh while I was taking off my pads, 7-77. Jayesh finished with 3 for 5 off 4 overs. Dave was then caught, 8-87, as was Jeremy, 9-94, leaving Nick to face 18 balls as he supported Jeff who scored 21 not out. Somehow I don’t think he’ll be last in next time. So we finished on 129 runs off 34.3 overs, losing by 72 runs.


Adam Wood  run out    1
Toby Frow                  caught  24
Henry Monahan                 caught  25
Dave Hollingsworth                 caught  31
David Stead  caught   0
Mick Campbell  caught   0
Chris Packham  run out   0
Jim Monahan   bowled   0
Jeremy Gostick  caught   6
Nick Duckett  bowled   3
Jeff Round                  not out  21

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